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04 October 2007 THIS IS WHAT I DID: by Ann Dee Ellis, Little Brown, July 2007, ISBN: 0-316-01363-3

"That's when I got up and walked out. I just walked out.
"I didn't stop in the waiting room either. I didn't stop in the hall. I didn't stop down in the lobby. I didn't even stop at the car. I just kept going. But soon I was running. I sort of ran up the hill.
"A hill.
"I didn't know where I was exactly except that we were by the university, but it didn't matter. I ran up a hill and there was a construction site there and a bunch of guys jackhammering.
"I ran past them.
"I felt stupid for all of them to see me running but I didn't stop.
"I kept running and panting and almost dying until I passed them and got to the base of the mountain. I can't really describe where I was or what it was like because I didn't know and I was about to pass out.
"All I know was that all of a sudden I was at the base of the mountains where the trails start and I sat down by a tree where no one was around and no one could see me from the road.
"I sat down and then
I yelled."

"I think I might be sort of messed up," is one of the few things that the frank and awkward eighth grader Logan Paloney will admit to, and he only admits that to the reader, not to the people in his life who care about him but are, for the most part, too busy with their own stuff to really help him. We don't know what happened, exactly, but we do know that Logan witnessed something horrible that involved his best friend Zyler and a girl in the neighborhood that both boys had a middle school crush on, and we know that Logan didn't do anything about whatever it was that happened.

"Last week Bruce kicked me in the balls at Scouts and all his buddies were there laughing and I started crying."

In the aftermath of the unknown incident involving Zyler, Logan's parents have moved the family across the city. It clearly would have been better to have moved across the country, for news and the rumors of Logan's involvement in something terrible have followed him across the city and, as a result, he is continually being beset upon by the eighth grade bullies at his school, at Scouts, and around the neighborhood.

"I closed my eyes and wasn't with Jack and any of those guys.
"Just me and Zyler.
"Hanging out.
"Like that one night when it was so snowy and we rode our bikes in the blizzard.
"Down the middle of the road because there were no cars anywhere.
"We didn't even have coats on but it didn't feel cold.
"And Zyler was yelling things like: Santa Claus is dead! We own you all!
"I was laughing. And riding around. And wasn't even scared about what Mom would say.
"The snow landing on my tongue.
"On my cheeks.
"On my bare arms.
"In circles and circles and circles.
"And I was not here. Not here. Not HERE. Not here."

Will the girl at school with the big nose and a penchant for palindromes be the real friend that Logan needs? Will he ever tell someone what really happened?

THIS IS WHAT I DID: has a lot of line breaks like a verse novel and a lot of dialogue, making it an extremely quick read. Even the more reluctant readers will be gulping down this compelling nightmare of a contemporary YA mystery tale, in one sitting.

Richie Partington, MLIS
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